What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why cant I sleep? When I'm about to fall asleep, I get excited that im about to sleep, causing me to wake up again. It repeats till my sleepiness is gone. I tried taking melatonin and not using my phone, but I end upawake for hours.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why can't we send flat Earthers to space and show them the shape of Earth?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why do women stubbornly refuse to let men lead, even though they are attracted to the man, and the man both loves and desires them? Why do they get angry and blame the man when he gets fed up and walks away, when it's entirely their own fault?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What are some creepy bestiality-promoting questions obviously asked for sexual gratification?

TEXT:

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What is it that gives a man who is a submissive cock sucker his most pleasure?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why can’t Trump campaign on the real issues facing America rather than insulting the character of VP Harris? Does MAGA actually believe this tactic will work?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.